Saturday, September 25, 2010

Impaling Palin

Evening America, meet your next Republican shill, err...candidate rather.
The Tea Party poison in the well:
Sarah Palin, straight from the masquerade ball.
Surely Republicrats will be throwing the Dems a bone come the next presidential elections
when they choose her as one of their options for office.
That is unless she's too busy shooting wolves from helicopters
for her new $1-million an episode Discovery Channel reality show.

I'd like to take this time to appreciate some of the more trivial ideals Mrs. Palin holds:

-You can see Russia from Alaska

-Firm belief in the religious theory of "young earth creationism"
which asserts that dinosaurs roamed the earth between 5,700 & 10,000 years ago
and even co-existed with humans.
Despite the fact that fossils indicate dinos were wiped out by an asteroid 65 million years ago.


-New Hampshire's located in the Northwest


-Didn't know the countries involved in the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA)
(United States, Canada, & Mexico)
and more importantly thought Africa was a country rather than a continent.


-Can't name a single newspaper she reads


-requested $3.2 million to study the genetics of harbor seals,
nearly a half a million dollars to study the recreational halibut harvest
&
$2 million to study crab mating habits

-incest victims should be forced to give birth to their seed child of rape


-you can wink

but you can't blink


-near & dear to my heart: her excessive use of "Maverick"


Don't take my word for it, ask:
John Cleese,
Jack Cafferty,
or
Bill Maher

VIDEOS:
Palin getting pranked
Palin cheat notes
Told off by Alaskan citizen
Sarah Palin's greatest hits & misses

QUOTES:
Palinisms
Dumb Sarah Palin quotes
11 dumbest things she's said so far